Gaetz drops out of the running for AG

The ex-congressman pulled himself out of consideration for attorney general an hour before CNN reported a second "sexual encounter" he had with a teenager. (Rape.)

Hello Cappers. I’m dropping into your inbox early today with a rare bit of good news: Former congressman, alleged child sex trafficker Matt Gaetz has pulled himself out of the running for attorney general, an hour before CNN reported that the House Ethics Committee had learned of a second “sexual encounter” he had with a teenager and a woman at a party in 2017. (I don’t know why the media continues to refer to the alleged rape and trafficking of a 17-year-old as “sex with a minor,” considering that the age of consent in Florida is 18, but I’ll wage that battle elsewhere.)

Gaetz’ announcement comes one day after every single Republican weasel on the Ethics Committee voted to bury their big report on him, which must be incredibly damaging if the senators Gaetz met with yesterday were concerned enough about their own necks to convince him to back out. It also doesn’t look too good that Gaetz made over $10K in Venmo payments to two women who testified in the House probe, just for “being awesome” and stuff.

In Gaetz’s statement on dropping out, he wrote that he’s “becoming a distraction to the critical work of the Trump/Vance transition.” I don’t know what that could possibly mean, seeing as how all Republicans are doing right now is considering rapists for cabinet posts and banning their first trans colleague from using the women’s bathroom in the Capitol. Perhaps they just needed more mental space to live out their old segregationist fantasies. Water fountains next?

At any rate, we can be quite certain that Trump will find someone uniquely awful to replace Rapey McForehead as captain of the Department of Justice. But for now, we enjoy a brief respite from having to look at this man’s punchable face.